Thursday, November 1, 2012


In my line of work I communicate with some fascinating people. And aside from their crooked bone structures and false teeth that never seem to be able to stay put, their honesty is what I find most interesting. 
Yeah, ok, most of the time I find it offensive, uninformed, and pretty radically racist, but seriously--how much time and emotion would we all be spared if we were completely and irrevocably honest? 
People would tell you when you're getting fat, that they're really not interested in seeing a movie with you about some teenager who thinks she's in love, that they wanted to go home three hours ago, that your house really does have a weird smell, and your child's chubbiness is actually kind of alarming and when you dress him up in bright red pants and a light-brown turtleneck he looks like a piece of fried chicken dipped in ketchup. 
At any rate, honesty saves us all a lot of guessing and concocting of those exhausting theories about why that one couple stopped hanging out with us and how come my Halloween candy keeps disappearing. 

So, to be totally honest: 
I've eaten three Kit Kats and two Reeses today and I don't see a trip to the gym anywhere in site. 
It requires every fiber of the goodness in my bones not to mess with the old lady at lunch who asks "is this breakfast?" 
The back seat of my car is currently my second closet. 
I laughed uncontrollably throughout the entire 10 pages of reading I had to do about penile cancer. 
I bought expensive makeup to cover up my chin that's been breaking out for weeks because of Adam's facial scruff and his inability to keep his hands off of this. 
And I daydream on an average of 8.65 times a day that Adam is Captain America. 


  1. You sound latina! In Uruguay they'd tell all the missionaries (I'm proud to say that they never said it to me, though if they saw me now I'm sure they would) "Gordita" which means, "Fatty" if they'd gotten chubby. It was even a term of endearment. Ah the honesty...

  2. And these are the posts I love. Around 2PM, I feel like it hsould be 5PM and want to head home. I like to do dishes-so sue me. Although I am sad that James, Phil and Jess moved away from my parents, I am THRILLED that they are near me:) The Mindy Project may be my new favorite show. Honestly feels good.

  3. yeah i get to deal with asians all the time telling me i'm fat, SO annoying. i LOVE the fact that your honest peeps said that jude looks like fried chicken, i can TOTALLY see it, he's adorable. my honesty for today is, we wend to nordstrom rack for the first time last night and i can't stop thinking about it.

  4. 1. I still pee the bed.
    2. The smell of Subway (the restaurant) gets my juices flowing.
    3. If you tried to make me eat olives, I'd punch you in the face.
    4. Sometimes my armpits smell.
    5. I still want to be a backup dancer for Justin Timberlake.
    6. I've never taken a dance class.

  5. Love this.
    Despite the beautiful facade I'm making everyone believe about our move, I do live up the hill from little Mexico.
    I haven't showered in atleast 3 days.
    I have no gym plans in sight for the next month and I plan to eat plenty of goodies since Halloween basically skipped us.
    My rent is as big as my paycheck.
    I have fed my child from McDonald's multiple times this week.

  6. Oh Britney, I miss you. And I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall when you resist the urge to tell that lady her chicken salad sandwich and creamed corn (weird combo, i know) is what's for breakfast. ;)

    I just went to the pantry to grab kit kats after reading you ate some the day you posted this. And it's midnight here. Sorry I'm not sorry.
    Brooks and I share a box of MacnCheese for lunch wayyyyy too often.
    Our bedroom is a mess (we're talking teenage girl mess that looks like our closet threw up everywhere) 96% of the time. Hanging up clothes is not my forte.
    I have hair envy for your thick, luscious locks. But you already knew that.


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