Tuesday, July 31, 2012


You know that moment when you've just exhaled and have no more breath in your lungs, but all-of-a-sudden someone says something hilarious and you have no possible ability to laugh normally?--so all you can do is inhale so forcefully that everyone in the room startles and wonders if they remember how to do the heimlich? 
Ok, maybe not. But it happens to me on a pretty regular basis because the little dude in my life catches me off guard so often with his hilarious quirkiness. Here's a compilation of the reasons why I am nearly always lightheaded. 

Monday, July 30, 2012


I love the elderly people who I worked with dearly. The day that I decide to leave this place will be a very sad day; they are a joy to work with nearly every day and I can only hope that if I'm ever 95-years-old (oh please, for the love of all, DON'T let me be 95-years-old) that I will be just as kind and patient. 

I'm not sure if it's the sunshine or the fact that the orange jello seems to be a little orangier, but lately the dementia population has been on a roll lately. Here are a couple of quotes that have been keeping us quite entertained over the past few weeks:

"Hey, are you going to the party?" 

"Your hair--it's awful. Oh gosh, it just looks terrible!"

"Were you part of the group that tricked me into going to lunch? Good, because I would've skinned you."
"I worry about that Charlie. He's been throwing up all day. When is he going to get better?"
"Oh that Jimmy. He's such a trouble-maker. I worry about that boy." 
"If you try to wheel me back into my room I'll run you over." 
"Do you have nurses down there that sit on things? Good, that's what I thought."
"When's breakfast? Not for another 10 hours? Oh gosh, what are we going to do?"
"I don't need a sleeping pill. I took one last night and I slept fine." 
"There are Chinese people coming in through my window. How are they doing that?!"
"It's OK that you don't understand. You're not educated like me."
"Didn't your mother teach you any manners?" 
"My arm hurts. Just put a piece of tape on it....Ok, that feels much better." 
"I'm out of Kleenex boxes. When is somebody going to die so I can take theirs?"

I should get a raise for having to keep it together so often. I'm a true professional. 

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

A place kids dream of

And there it is.
This is Silver Bay along the banks of the great Lake George in the Adirondack's of upstate New York.
Here, I have spent many summers in my youth--water tubing, fish-catching, sand-eating, friends-making, mountains of ice cream-eating, little kid-pushing, cliff jumping, and others. Here, we learned what it truly meant to live like a kid. And I am stoked to go next month! Adam Stevens, Briana, Bryon and Mama Burwell--and all you grandparents and uncles: I hope you're ready. Because this is my little boy's first time going and I'm determined to make it the best year yet. 
Jude Stevens: Speedo suit up! 

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I Wish

I wish chocolate pudding had negative calories.
I wish Adam understood my need to eat his cereal. 
I wish my belly didn't look like a chew toy. 
I wish they still sold chocolate pretzel ice cream.
I wish my leg hairs would stop growing back.
I wish Jude would put me down for a nap for a change. 
I wish Volvo's were more reliable than Honda's so I could justify buying one. 
I wish Jude wouldn't poop 50 times a day.
I wish Jude wouldn't run away the second I open his poopy diapers. 
I wish Adam's facial scruff would stop making me break out.
I wish they'd stop sprinkling yummy cold cuts with cancer. 
I wish I hadn't eaten brownies for dinner.
I wish New Girl was on every night. 
I wish I had a steak. 
I wish there was a Starbucks outside my window every morning. 
I wish my hair would cut itself. 
I wish Pinterest would stop making me feel either fat or hungry. 
I wish elves would stop making my bathroom messy during the night. 
I wish Jude didn't think throwing his food on the ground warranted hysterical laughter. 
I wish I could watch Mean Girls every day. 
I wish Dr. Pepper wasn't bad for me. 

The above was an impromptu meeting up with Adam for lunch at Starbucks. 
Jude and I loves that he works so close!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Our Week

This week is Jude and Mommy week.
Yup. No scrubs. No babysitters. 
No half-ace dinners.
It's me + you = lots of ice cream sharing, book reading, walks-going, nap taking and the like.
And by the way, little man, your little cheeks will most-likely have my lips imprinted on them by the end of the week because those chunky cheeks are irresistible. 
And want to hear something funny?
You recently sprouted peach fuzz on your legs, which means that you and I will both be sporting hairy legs week--and I'm sure there's at least one person in this world that finds that endearing. 
And I'm going to take advantage of that as much as possible, you sweet, sweet little lamp chop. 

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Date Night

Earlier this week, Adam told me that he was planning on taking me on a sexy date this weekend. This is why I keep him around. Usually our dates consist of Chipotle, Jude, and trying to not watch as the little one sips on water and backwashes food back into the straw. Sexy, right? 
Anyway, Adam took me to this delicious Mexican restaurant because, in his words, "You work hard. You deserve good Mexican food." 
And after inhaling said delicious food and having a conversation about how awesome the place was for having ginger beer and that funny face Jude makes when you put glasses on him, we went to Cinetopia and saw Peter Parker fight bad guys--while eating a ridiculous amount of buttery popcorn and drinking enough Mr. Pibb to burst 5 bladders.  
And then we made out in the parking lot. Like 16-year-olds.
I can't believe I just told you that. 
It was a great date. And so is my man. But you already knew that :)    

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Our 4th of July!

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July! For us it was a day packed full of family-fun, and it was awesome. 

We went swimming with scrunched faces. 

I finally got my date with Captain America. 

We picked lots of berries for our morning oatmeal.We put sand in our mouth from the sandbox Nana and Grandpa set up just for Jude!

And then we finished the day off with Grandpa's homemade strawberry ice cream..

delicious BBQ..

and of course fireworks!--which Jude enjoyed from the comfort of his bed. 
Maybe next year you won't be so lame, little buddy. 

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The All-American Day

Happy 4th of July!
What are you all doing??
We're going up to Vancouver to have some good old American food with Nana and Grandpa--after of course swimming in this beautiful weather and picking some berries.
Jude and Mom loves berries..especially in our oatmeal.
I also used today as an excuse to make chocolate coconut cupcakes with salted caramel frosting. What's so American about that?--the star-spangled cupcake wrappers.

While you're bbqing, think of me in all of fatness eating a burger, steak and a brat. 
It's what the founding fathers would've wanted. 

Sunday, July 1, 2012

I'll do my best

Today is obviously Sunday and this day is very dear to me for more than one reason. It's a holy day which God hallowed from the beginning, and I fully believe that there is a greater abundance of the Spirit on Sundays. Usually on this holy day, I find myself meditating on spiritual matters and that of my family. 
The older and more aware that Jude becomes the more unprepared and inadequate I feel in teaching him what he needs to know to thrive both temporally and spiritually.
Do any of you just feel like kids trying to raise kids?
I feel as though my own mother was so focused, wise, mature, and well-read on how to teach her children, and I always just thought that that talent would come to me once they placed the little dude in my arms. Maybe it has, maybe it hasn't--and maybe it's just going to be a wonderful mix of intuition and hard work/trial and error. Either way, one thing is clear: 
I am shaping a life. 
Which, ahem, both scares me to hopeless pieces and moves me to immense gratitude and joy. 
Phew. I can do this. 
John said, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 
Dear John: I share the same desire. 
Dear Jude: Don't be too hard on your old mom. She's trying here. 
I'm so excited for the years to come. And hopefully, I will find that teaching my sweet boy what he needs to know will be a gradual process and I won't wake up one day and find out that he turned 18 and doesn't know how to wash his socks. 

Have a great week, everyone! 

p.s. which picture do you like better? I'm trying to decide which one to frame :) 

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