Wednesday, January 23, 2013

To be honest..


I ran out of shampoo a week ago. 
One Tree Hill is so painful to watch, but I can't stop. 
When my sister described my completely Jude-massacred stomach as "bread dough," she wasn't wrong. 
I shave my legs on average once every two weeks, and hide them from Adam until then. 
I secretly give Jude more whole milk than he needs so he stays just a little chubby. 
Whenever I go on trips I put all of my energy and planning into what we're going to be eating. 
I avoid scrubbing the shower like the plague.  
I daydream about being a rockstar and wearing black leather pants daily.
I never sit down on public toilets. 
Adam brings me home a diet coke when I'm having a bad day. And then I go crazy. 
I ran up the driveway one day as a little girl crying because I could never be Asian.
I think hot dogs taste like soggy erasers. 
I don't exercise to look good, I exercise to be healthy.

Ok, now be honest with me.

5 comments:

  1. I want to give you an award of some sort... but for now I'll just give you a dose of painful honesty.

    I hate the word healthy.
    I actually have a list of words I hate.
    I avoid fads like the plague.
    I don't believe in dinosaurs.
    I act like I'm on the phone with someone in public places or when I see someone I don't want to talk to.
    I hate running. I loathe it entirely.
    I watch the Bachelor. Yes. It's true.
    I am obsessed with watching Disney and Pixar movies that are meant for small children.
    I want to go buy a Frosty right now.
    I have a million more things to say... but I actually don't want anyone to know them haha. :]

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  2. I agree with almost all of this list. especially the scrubbing the shower part.

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  3. i totally haven't showered since sunday, i know i'm awesome. maybe i actually avoid the shower altogether like the plague.
    and i don't remember when the last i shaved my legs was. i just wear yoga pants to hide them from brett.
    and it's ok girl, maybe in another life you'll be asian.

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  4. I love that your sister calls your stomach bread dough too. My sister asked me to be her surrogate for her kids because I "already ruined my body" haha. Love this post.

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  5. Britney, you're so freaking awesome! This post made me laugh :)

    Sometimes I give my girls candy because I'm too lazy to prepare a healthy snack, or I just want them to leave me alone for a few minutes.
    I'm notorious for only serving a main dish for dinner--no sides.
    I swore I would never have the tv/electronics babysit my kids, but that's about all they've done this last month.
    I let my kids go in the hot tub.
    I act like I'm on the phone with someone in public places or when I see someone I don't want to talk to. *ditto Mary!
    I only shave to just above my knees, and only do it on Saturdays so that I'll look nice for church.
    Half the time I delete my responses on facebook (or blogs!) because I'm afraid of looking like an idiot.
    When I was little, I prayed to be a boy (they got to do all the cool stuff) (I rewrote and deleted this three times).

    ReplyDelete

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