First of all, Happy Mother's Day to all you beautiful mothers and mothers to be. I know I have been greatly blessed by all those who I can call mothers in my life and hope I can bless others' lives just the same.
I didn't think this day, being my first Mother's Day as a new mother, would be as significant as it has been. No, it hasn't been the gestures, gifts, or even extra hour of sleep I was able to get this morning that have made this day so special. It simply has been my little boy.
I can't begin to tell you how I feel about being a Mom. It's overwhelming, humbling, joyful, and exciting. I feel overwhelmed with feelings of love and spiritual awareness, humbled that I have such a perfect, innocent child of God in my arms on a daily basis. His perfect spirit has made my own spirit sing. It's so emotional, which is something I wasn't prepared for. I know that he is so perfect that he can't be kept within the veil and that when he smiles that perfect, innocent smile in his sleep that he is smiling at heaven and when he laughs he is laughing with angels. I have never felt more close to my Heavenly Father since Jude's arrival.
I used to think Motherhood was such a cliche. "Motherhood." Just the word is almost a cliche. "The Miracle of Birth," another cliche. It always seemed something low to aim for, something that would inevitably happen and take over the things I enjoy in life--a career, traveling, making lots of money. Now, don't think I'm saying a career, traveling, and money are bad things, because they are actually really great things. I am simply discounting my previous inaccurate view of motherhood. This is because I've come to realize something while looking at Jude sleep in my arms, soundly, making his little squeaking sound with his nose. That something is how ridiculous to think that something so spiritually renewing, so exhilarating, meaningful, everlasting even, could be inferior enough to trade for something else, where what I reap--money, prestige, the approval of a handful of people--can't even compare to this. THIS.
I remember while at school, right before I started dating Adam, that in my mindset of blind ambition, and I say blind because I had my blinders on to anything else interrupting my plan, that one day while getting ready for class, the spirit spoke to me. More directly than ever. He placed this thought into my mind: "In the end it doesn't matter what you did--whether you were an outstanding nurse, great missionary, remarkable humanitarian aid contributor, and so on--the only thing that will matter is if you were a wife and mother." In that personal revelation I felt warmth. Warmth that I haven't since felt until Jude was placed in my arms.
This is what life is about. And I can't wait to go on in this life and the next with my family.